tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8758209616701155152012-02-16T12:10:12.736-06:00Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.comBlogger1101100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-82823759307829776322012-01-13T01:33:00.000-06:002012-01-13T01:33:53.707-06:00

That's right it's story time tonight. After looking at my calendar I realized that six months tonight is our wedding rehearsal. Six months tomorrow is the wedding. Alright, alright, maybe I didn't actually require looking at a calendar to figure out the math. Being excited is normal, however, and it's kind of weird to be normal for a change. I think its a nice change from the crazy which usually

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-20549171463373834082011-12-25T14:38:00.000-06:002011-12-25T14:38:34.191-06:00

It's funny how time changes things. The older I get the more this rings true. Christmas and New Year's are natural markers for reflection, for remembering what has come and anticipating the events yet to come. Looking back on my blog from this time last year, I find myself, once again, in awe of how much can change in just 12 months. Today, I sit, still in Saskatchewan. My first Christmas

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-16262821516761329112011-12-06T19:34:00.000-06:002011-12-06T19:34:06.484-06:00

So, now that I'm a little calmer (and I do mean little) maybe I can continue my thoughts. I recently wrote a letter to my school asking about our policies regarding students with disabilities. Now, before I continue, let me point out the profs here are incredible. I know I've mentioned this before but they, for the most part, are willing to go the extra mile to help students succeed regardless

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-70102823415570788272011-12-02T01:00:00.000-06:002011-12-02T01:00:45.316-06:00

So, I'm a little annoyed that my first blog back from my paper rush will be a rant but I feel this issue is worth it. Just a warning, this will be a little ranting but, hopefully, you'll still be able to track with the heart of what I'm saying. Life with a disability is challenging. It's a hard truth at times to take in for those of us facing health challenges but this doesn't make it any less

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-26657518168414988302011-11-29T20:36:00.001-06:002011-11-29T20:36:58.241-06:00

but posts are still awhile off. Sadly I'm knee deep in a paper which is consuming my life (I'm currently in lockdown, wee) Also, I've promised my fanfic readers that they're first up for an update as soon as the paper's finished. The blog will be as soon as I've caught up on everything else. Til then, Peace all.

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-3282525779767121152011-11-05T18:11:00.000-06:002011-11-05T18:11:47.374-06:00

It's November! Do you know what that means? Well, Thanksgiving is over (at least north of the border) and Halloween is gone as well. These wonderful points added to the fact I live alone means the Christmas music has made a return! I know, I know. This is a touchy subject for some. There are staunch December only enthusiasts, post-American Thanksgivingers, and the list goes on. I can't help it

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-59611858245528761092011-10-18T16:52:00.000-06:002011-10-18T16:52:07.962-06:00

So, those of you who have been following my blog for a few months will have noticed the addition of a badge on my blog around the end of August. I hope you'll indulge me as I take the chance to explain. This summer saw a resurgence of angry posts on the EDS boards I frequent regarding the right for those of us with chronic illness to have children. Normally, I try to ignore these debates,

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-59567638082703631172011-10-16T22:00:00.000-06:002011-10-16T22:00:41.656-06:00

When is a writer not a writer? Is a writer solely identified based on their ability to produce words in coherent streams or does this identity rest deeper? Does the soul of a writer, the creativity and passion with which they experience the world, the musings, the wondering, the newness of their life allow the calling to ring true even when one is unable to find the words which mark their craft

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-68282210913695945872011-09-16T02:13:00.002-06:002011-09-16T16:44:05.358-06:00

So, in case you didn't get the memo, this week is Invisible Illness Awareness Week! I know, this is very exciting. Often, invisible illnesses go unnoticed because of their hidden nature but that doesn't lessen their severity nor their impact on people's lives. The last few years, those spearheading the awareness campaign have provided different venues for promoting awareness, one of which is a

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-68902175040782463482011-09-13T01:58:00.000-06:002011-09-13T01:58:02.010-06:00

Dark Horse. Black Sheep. Neither term is overly flattering. The black sheep is usually awkward, the dark horse is discounted until their surprise (and sometimes unpopular) victory. These are the people society strives to avoid becoming. Why? These are the people we count out. Black Sheep don't belong  and why strive to be the dark horse when you can be the front runner. Oh, we're encouraged

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-6760192064087369622011-09-04T21:02:00.001-06:002011-09-05T01:58:02.050-06:00

So, in case you couldn't tell, this summer has been an interesting one to say the least. Adjusting to life post-college, living on my own, navigating a whole new realm of challenges, has meant encountering a roller coaster of emotions and experiences but one of the greatest adjustments this summer has to be the spiders. Spending the first three quarters of me life near Muskoka, Ontario I am

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-43745194357484043862011-08-26T06:06:00.002-06:002011-08-26T12:54:57.505-06:00

I've never been a morning person or at least not in recent enough memory for it to count. Let's face it a life of joints constantly falling out and healing rarely makes for good, restful sleep. Besides a few hours where I get the chance to simply be lost in dreams is a gift. Sleep has always been a wonderful chance to get away from my perfectionist self and just "be". I mean, the only way to be

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-51037459517275379612011-08-23T05:29:00.000-06:002011-08-23T05:29:02.088-06:00

Not sleeping. Not writing my paper that's worth 50% of my final grade and due soon. I'm blogging. Yep, I'm back folks. Anyone miss me yet? Life's been fun of late with EDS. My insomnia's been back in full force again which is driving me a little batty. I mean seriously, insomnia could be a lot of fun if it weren't for the fact I can't think enough to be productive academically or with the new

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-71703141540067610202011-08-02T16:43:00.000-06:002011-08-02T16:43:07.180-06:00

So, just to warn you, although I deeply and sincerely want to write happy things I do not see that happening in this post. Maybe in a few days I'll post something about fantasy worlds and hopeful dreams, today I need to rant. This may come as a surprise to some people but, astonishingly enough I am fully aware of my status as a disabled person. Shocking I know, but still surprisingly true.

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-43792209337720878752011-07-29T22:10:00.002-06:002011-07-30T14:10:23.381-06:00

Alright, I'll admit that it technically won't be August until Monday but this does mark the start of the August long weekend. For me, that's close enough. It seems odd that after all the drama that has surrounded my camp experience this summer it will all be over this time next week and I will be back to being an unemployed student. Yet, even with all the trouble I've had thus far it was with

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-31441095354053371952011-07-27T18:11:00.001-06:002011-07-30T14:09:20.045-06:00

Happy Birthday Emily It's hard to believe how quickly you must be growing up. It's even harder to believe that it's been almost 5 years since we last saw you. It's been hard knowing that you are out there growing up and probably don't remember me but I hope one day you will find out that you were remembered and loved my dear cousin. I remember those first few months after you joined our family.

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-62172642150411864882011-07-24T13:17:00.000-06:002011-07-24T13:17:17.850-06:00

Humanity really is a diverse group. We all have our own little quirks, our strengths our weaknessess, and our commonalities, I'm particularly fond of the last one. One commonality is that we all get stressed and if you've read my blog at all the last little while you'd have noticed that between work, school, and life I've been a wee bit stressed of late. To try and cope with the stress I often

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-91051240841995769972011-07-22T22:33:00.000-06:002011-07-22T22:33:43.526-06:00

Another week down. I'd cheer but I'm pretty sure my adrenaline has gone out with my shoulder. Working this summer with special needs kids has definitely been a challenge in ways I didn't expect. I mean, I'm grateful for the work (and money to live on) and I know it will be back to square one when my contract ends in two weeks but the job is an emotional roller coaster. Working with any kid is a

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-53301504827994971612011-07-13T17:49:00.000-06:002011-07-13T17:49:14.186-06:00

Life with a chronic, debilitating illness means some adjustments. I accept this. I acknowledge there are things that will be harder for me, there will be days when I cannot do what was possible hours earlier, and there are things and dreams which must be laid aside (hopefully for new things that are different or better). One thing I acknowledge will always be difficult is working long days.

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-12350779953215576632011-07-07T18:30:00.000-06:002011-07-07T18:30:19.326-06:00

I am a daughter, a sister, a friend. I am the girl who drinks too much coffee and plays her music way to loud with her earphones on. I am the girl who stays up too late studying because learning is way more exciting than sleeping. I am the girl who doesn't mind holding the baby who cries because I know what it's like to just want to scream until there are no more tears. I am the girl who

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-18122639920939404032011-07-03T22:49:00.000-06:002011-07-03T22:49:44.425-06:00

If anybody reads this blog for any length of time they can easily come to the realization that the purpose of this blog is to have a space to collect my thoughts, reflect upon life and it's challenges, and attempt to find coherence to the thoughts which have a tendency to pile in my brain cluttering to the point of paralysis if not given a voice. Tonight is one of those night's where life needs

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-13232767320959358302011-06-25T00:25:00.000-06:002011-06-25T00:25:20.063-06:00

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly time can fly away when you aren't paying attention. I really never intended to be away for this long but one class followed by another, homework, housework, job searches, friends, family, and life . . . well let's just say blogging fell to the wayside. However, I value the chance to write too much to leave it for too long so back I come. One thing I've

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-83594012719653191062011-05-27T03:22:00.001-06:002011-05-27T16:19:36.570-06:00

Apparently saying please doesn't always work. I've been saying it for 2 hours now, instead my brain continues to circle around ideas that make sleep elusive and my stomach ache. Life never seems to coast, rather it is a constant battle between ups and downs. It's hard to know how to share the downs. I know times of struggle are part of life, but with my past, I'm afraid of people losing me in

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-63534005200782634822011-05-11T22:26:00.000-06:002011-05-13T14:32:09.891-06:00

Tonight is not a good night. I hate feeling so helpless, so frustrated, so broken. I'm going on another day of EDS induced "fun". If it isn't my lower joints rendering me incapable of walking across my apartment (let alone next door to where my friends live) it's my shoulders and wrists making homework near-impossible as they shriek their displeasure. I hate being sick on days like this. I like

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-40766820952313735762011-05-07T18:06:00.000-06:002011-05-07T18:06:17.057-06:00

I'm amazed at what breadth a moment of silence has the ability to communicate. Far too often in our society we have the tendency to overlook the quiet, the silence, and the communication which occurs within it, preferring to overwhelm the senses with an abundance of distraction, allowing us to escape the uncomfortable reality of facing ourselves and those around us without our masks. This has

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-10979734456022322252011-04-28T00:52:00.000-06:002011-04-28T00:52:02.253-06:00

So, I'm a little busy with moving, job hunting, driving lessons, and spending time with some amazing people who I love dearly. So, since my attention has been directed elsewhere of late, I thought I'd post a link to another zebra's blog I found recently on a different site I also frequent. http://www.goodblogs.com/view-post/A-Different-Perspective Hope you enjoy it too.

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-45577120149748297742011-04-22T00:46:00.000-06:002011-04-22T00:46:42.553-06:00

I should be writing a paper. Aren't those familiar words. I should be writing a paper but instead I got a reality check. Dorm is interesting this time of year. Everyone's packing up to leave for the summer or move into different housing for the summer. I move on Monday. People are flitting around saying goodbyes, looking for jobs, and allowing the stress of a semester to float away. Except for

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-4849188918485059322011-04-19T23:15:00.000-06:002011-04-19T23:15:55.332-06:00

Belonging It's such a simple word. Made up of nine letters, neatly aligned, together they form one of the dearest longing of this generation and a cry that has long been held in my own heart. Growing up belonging seemed like an impossible dream. Many days I felt like my brother who has Asperger's Syndrome. The pieces all seemed to be right there in front of my eyes, almost everyone around me

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-47248786957289531192011-04-19T21:27:00.000-06:002011-04-19T21:27:36.417-06:00

Guess what I learned this week? No. Come on now. I said guess. Done guessing? I learned that I hate being sick. Ironic isn't it? I mean here I am living my life with EDS, Raynauds, and some other random things that have yet to be diagnosed and it dawns on me I hate being sick but not because of those per se. Let's face it, those of you with EDS, Raynauds, or any other chronic illness know how

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-50381634152499738682011-04-10T20:04:00.000-06:002011-04-10T20:04:38.711-06:00

Okay, who can guess where today's title comes from? I'll give you ten seconds. . . . Yeah, I didn't actually think anyone would need the whole ten seconds but I like nice round numbers. The Princess Bride really is one of the best known cult classics in my peer group. Every year, without fail, I will encounter a group of college girls settling in, ready for a night with  Westley, Buttercup, and

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-84637532208009524052011-04-06T01:52:00.001-06:002011-04-06T01:53:08.890-06:00

I think it might be spring here. Maybe? Possibly? Actually, to be honest, I really can't tell. I mean it, I'm as confused as our province's weather patterns. One day we're in t-shirts and trying to figure out what that funny yellow thing in the sky giving off warmth is and the next I'm walking home in a winter wonderland, the kind that makes you think of snow globes, magic, and childhood (yes,

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-88446183182807152692011-03-29T19:51:00.000-06:002011-03-29T19:51:01.182-06:00

I always thought Rascal Flatts was crazy. They have this one song by the name "I Feel Bad" and the jist of the lyrics is that the vocalist feels bad because they don't feel bad. This week I think I finally understand the feelings in this song. In my last post I mentioned a friendship that was on the rocks. Since then the relationship, at least for the time being, has been ended by her. Reflecting

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-28417941057680111362011-03-27T03:25:00.000-06:002011-03-27T03:25:04.479-06:00

If there is one constant I have found to hold true in life it is that to truly live you must be willing to face and deal with difficult times. A life that has none is a life that is wasted. Too many people today avoid adversity. Somewhere along the way challenges have gotten a bad reputation, been grouped with worst case scenarios and bad dreams late at night. The thing is challenge is not a bad

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-67718619652260992792011-03-17T16:29:00.001-06:002011-03-17T16:32:13.378-06:00

Some days I hate being a Zebra. I know that may seem like an unnecessary comment but today it rings so true that I can't deny it. I have a love/hate relationship with my EDS. I hate all the things it takes from me (sleep, mobility, independence), the way it limits what I can and cannot do,  the times it relegates me to observer as I watch the world pass me, the pain, the injuries, the constant

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-1512915960086477992011-03-13T01:48:00.001-06:002011-03-14T17:47:43.960-06:00

Hope is truly a fascinating word. Last night was a difficult night as so many seem to be these days and I think I can conclusively say that no time of day seems as devoid of hope as 3am. As I talked with a friend on a borrowed cell, the best word I could find to describe my state of being was hopeless, and it was truly what I felt. Hopeless is a frightening place and one I have truly lived

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-37734027650108119122011-03-11T02:07:00.000-06:002011-03-11T02:07:56.032-06:00

One of the biggest things I've been wrestling through of late, courtesy of my wonderful counselling is the role of people expectations in my life. It's been an interesting journey examining the effects people's expectations have on the way I perceive myself and how I interact with others. It's amazing to observe the difference that this has had on my headspace, most days. My counsellor has been

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-19794394844628637762011-03-09T19:33:00.000-06:002011-03-09T19:33:46.125-06:00

So, can anyone guess from the title what kind of day I've had? Some days Ehlers-Danlos and I just don't get along. Last night I could understand, the weather around here lately has been up and down like a yo-yo and my joints do not adapt well to weather changes, life has also been rather stressful lately which my joints like even less. As a result, I wasn't overly surprised by a bad night last

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-84215368961190183812011-03-07T19:48:00.001-06:002011-03-26T13:55:26.234-06:00

Yeah, I'm back again. Tonight's been interesting. Work is coming together on some SCA projects which is amazing. I love watching the people around me light up as they understand new things, tackle areas of interest, and see progress in what they've undertaken. I'm also trying to get back into some sort of schedule again. Homework that has sat undone for weeks is moving up in priority as writer's

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-11282613483356083972011-03-06T02:54:00.000-06:002011-03-06T02:54:53.097-06:00

So, I should be writing a paper .  . . or sleeping. Both activities are equally valid options and would be productive things with which I could fill my time. Instead, I have my ITunes blaring through my headphones as I retreat back into my blog. My paper, to be honest, is driving me batty. I've made more progress in the last two days than I've made in 3 weeks and yet it still sits with only 2/3'

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-90483478284173325412011-03-03T19:33:00.000-06:002011-03-03T19:33:12.273-06:00

Lately I've noticed a new trend. The last few trips I've made to town no matter what the reason for my adventure, I end up in random conversations with elderly gentleman. It is seriously the weirdest thing I think I could experience. I've talked weather and coupons in the produce aisle, compared blood work over ice cream, and cutest was talking to an older gentleman who had taken up baking in his

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-62507623304444020122011-02-27T16:43:00.002-06:002011-04-11T05:13:00.258-06:00

So, as I started to explore last night, names have a really large place in my life. Some names define people. New names given at life milestones or names in general can be given to remember the past or hold promise of the future.These names are a constant reminder of life's journey and can be really positive. Some of these names are given by family, some by friends, some through work (anybody

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-40191792080027520462011-02-27T03:06:00.004-06:002011-02-27T05:02:56.714-06:00

Life's a funny thing isn't it? I don't know how to describe today, so many emotions so many ups and downs. Today was a good day. I met a new friend. She is my newest brother's girlfriend and an amazing girl. She has this amazing ability to listen and she makes my brother laugh, even though he doesn't need it, I definitely approve. Today was also a good day because I had the chance to have a

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-11091054710977572502011-02-24T02:19:00.000-06:002011-02-24T02:19:20.847-06:00

I honestly didn't mean to stay away this long. I knew that life was getting busy: learning to drive, demands of school, an ever-failing job hunt in my quest to find some financial stability, the exhausting work of sorting through my past and learning how to move forward, the fear of the future and what's to come. What I didn't account for was the overwhelming urge to hide from myself. This blog

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-80827196041917947122011-02-07T18:06:00.003-06:002011-02-07T21:11:10.483-06:00

I think I should start by apologizing. My moods of late have been rather wild and today is no different, this post may also end up a little graphic at times, so I am sorry. However, I still think it's better to write out my confusion with words than return to things of my past so here we go. It has been a long 24 hours. Why? Because I have spent the last 22 hours triggered desperate for the

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-80659736904468597412011-02-06T21:52:00.001-06:002011-02-06T22:53:07.222-06:00

What an afternoon. Actually what a day yesterday! If I had to choose one word to describe the experience that was yesterday that word would be memorable. Between SCA, high teas, kidnappings, and the like even what appears to have been a nasty POTS attack can't bring this girl down, not this time. My morning started insanely early. Unfortunately, sleep is often annoyingly elusive until my body

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-44184801886556176352011-02-02T13:06:00.001-06:002011-02-02T16:50:13.116-06:00

The above is one of the best birthday quotes i've ever heard on television, seeing as today is once again my birthday it seemed appropriate. Birthday's are odd creatures, a way to measure time. Whether that measuring is in past reflection, future aims, or present life, birthdays generally encourage some sort of focus on life - positive and negative. This past year has been interesting in so many

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-26496932054858929032011-01-31T19:10:00.001-06:002011-01-31T19:11:31.556-06:00

We made it back, and I fully intended to write up last night my memories while they were fresh but life never seems to go according to my agenda these days. I'm thinking maybe it's time to throw my agenda away and start trusting more. Our intrepid group left our cozy beds bright and early Friday morning (when I'm not sure but it might have been 8am, after staying up until 4 talking with a friend

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-4756210694157086742011-01-26T15:30:00.000-06:002011-01-26T15:30:29.821-06:00

So, I'm still here even though my posts have dropped as of late. EDS reared its head again and I've been nursing a doozy of a shoulder injury which has made typing a bit difficult, not to mention staying awake nearly impossible.  Honestly, have any other EDSers noticed trouble staying awake or keeping warm after a bad dislocation( popped the shoulder and blade out into each other cutting off

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-52860180564673115742011-01-18T15:49:00.000-06:002011-01-18T15:49:35.757-06:00

And I am. Today I went and met with a counsellor for the first time. It was, um, rather odd being on the other side of the equation to be perfectly honest. I'm still glad I went. She's a nice person, she laugh's and doesn't mind sarcasm, which is great cause I'm not all that great at avoiding sarcasm in uncomfortable situations. Weird thing, I barely know this woman. I've met her twice, and

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-52857234166198946942011-01-16T21:50:00.001-06:002011-01-16T21:55:23.873-06:00

I'm annoyed tonight. Again. Life annoys me. Yeah, I'm being vague, but not intentionally. So let's try to explain for my benefit and yours. Today has been weird. I woke up still flaring-up with my EDS which means my 30 minute getting ready schedule turned into a two hour marathon, filled with regular breaks as my body fought to adjust. Needless to say I was a little late. Good thing my friends

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-72581749973773175442011-01-15T13:21:00.000-06:002011-01-15T13:21:01.373-06:00

Dear EDS Please stop kicking my butt. Seriously, I have a life to live and you get rather annoying when you flare like you did last night/this morning. These flare-ups do nothing for our relationship. From now on lets talk instead of you throwing a temper tantrum. Please? Pretty please? Eh, it's worth a try. EDS was definitely winning the battle last night night. I sat up to do homework and

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-56317487097393886952011-01-14T20:52:00.001-06:002011-01-14T21:02:30.472-06:00

So, I'm sitting in my room tonight and life should be great. I'm cuddled in a house coat that is soft and warm. I have a stuffed monkey behind me, a teddy bear beside me, and warm slippers around my feet. My paper has been started, or at least the research has, and today my quaddie and my brother both celebrated another year of life. Life should be great. So, why am I sitting here huddled in

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-36916949117942247362011-01-12T17:36:00.000-06:002011-01-12T17:36:51.041-06:00

A few weeks ago I finally broke down and watched "How to Train Your Dragon." Yes, it took me that long. Oh, I had heard all the reviews but the first person to tell me about the movie was a over active 7 year old, it may have coloured my perceptions a little. So, in a moment of boredom I broke down and fell in love with this movie, particularly Hiccup and Toothless. Why? Because for most of my

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-5292907198747172812011-01-08T18:10:00.001-06:002011-01-12T18:20:08.994-06:00

To be honest I'm not actually sure what it equals. Every since my EDS has started its (thankfully) slow decent downwards travelling has taken on a whole new set of complications. Before my EDS started to be a daily concern I loved the idea of travelling. My high school years saw me travel to the Canadian East Coast, as far west as Saskatchewan, throughout the Northeastern states, Arizona, New

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-12516683135881779062011-01-06T22:22:00.001-06:002011-01-06T22:40:57.798-06:00

So, I don't care how old you are, how much you've grown, or how independent you've become. No matter what your age, it will always suck to be sitting wrapped up in the corner of your room, listening to your music as loud as it will go, praying that everyone stops fighting soon, that the voices will quiet, that it will all go back to normal . .  . before they notice you. Yeah, stuff like that

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-47446458904890599802011-01-04T14:31:00.001-06:002011-01-06T22:44:39.627-06:00

Well, the house is a little too tense to work on my paper again, such is life. So instead of sitting around feeling annoyed I decided to make some coffee, pop in the How to Train Your Dragon soundtrack and write out the thoughts in my head (it's almost like writing my paper, right? I mean I'm writing :D ) We are now four days into 2011 and in 104 hours I will be back in Saskatchewan my last

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-87454708313303672652011-01-02T21:44:00.000-06:002011-01-02T21:44:34.521-06:00

Today I said goodbye to a chapter of my life. Today I said goodbye to some of the people who have been a part of my life for years as I prepare to make transition to life after college, 2000 miles away from where I grew up. This got me to thinking. I know many people who have helped shaped me into the person I am at college but seeing as some of them have stumbled their way onto this page, I

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-1102377479699973012011-01-01T17:23:00.000-06:002011-01-01T17:23:09.842-06:00

What a year it has been.  I am constantly amazed at how time can both be fleeting and an eternity all at once. What a wondrous paradox. This year brought a lot of changes to my life - personally and academically. Academically this year saw tangible accomplishments. Contrary to what this blog would reveal grammatically I finished my first B.A. this year and am within 3 papers of finishing a second

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-14687544290087185332010-12-28T02:00:00.000-06:002010-12-28T02:00:24.588-06:00

So, I'm noticing a trend here. The majority of these posts are written when I'm supposed to be doing one of three things: cleaning, working, or sleeping. Tonight's winner in the procrastination lottery is sleep, which is eluding me yet again. Now, I have nothing against sleep, I actually think it's a wonderful invention and should be regularly utilized by, well, everyone. Once again my head and

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-6171323888400534232010-12-21T17:04:00.006-06:002010-12-22T00:35:19.534-06:00

Why I don't go shopping. You want a true test of courage and skill? Don't watch reality television or adventure shows. All you need is to go shopping, in the busiest mall in town, on the 21st of December, with someone who has EDS, poor balance, and let's add some severe anxiety and claustrophobia just to make things interesting :) So, why did I decide to take leave of all my faculties and subject

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-38821995638827496012010-12-20T02:28:00.000-06:002010-12-20T02:28:28.862-06:00

So, I posted earlier tonight, settled myself down, and went to bed like almost everyone else does on a regular basis. However, unlike most people, instead of drifting off to sweet dreams I found myself staring at the ceiling in my darkened room (a most fascinating feat to be truthful). What pray tell so consumed my mind that I could not sleep? Rabbit trails, but I think this one is important.

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-79904632589444486722010-12-19T22:50:00.000-06:002010-12-19T22:50:18.295-06:00

Seriously, if you haven't seen this go take 2 hours and watch this movie. It's such a shame more movies these says don't encourage us to think about life beyond the superficial and commercial this time of year.

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-556129095651369912010-12-19T22:44:00.000-06:002010-12-19T22:44:39.357-06:00

I have finally joined the multitude of people who have sat down and watched the Christmas classic It's a Wonderful Life. Yes, until this year, I had somehow managed to avoid seeing the Christmas classic to the amazement of my friends, and one or two complete strangers who overheard my confusion regarding the beloved nature of this film. But after having sat down and watched the film end to end

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-32016663414916291122010-12-16T23:41:00.000-06:002010-12-16T23:41:27.194-06:00

So lately it seems my lot in life to have the lies of my past blasted through my present. Now this can be a very good thing. Confronting the past can be a good thing. It can mean freedom from those things which hold you back, from the voices that can confine you. However, it can also be the most painful thing in your existence. The longer a lie grows, the more that is connected to it, the more

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-18213321480265265732010-12-13T20:04:00.000-06:002010-12-13T20:04:11.268-06:00

Yes, it's another post of me processing. In some ways, this is why I haven't posted recently. In a lot of ways this blog is a place where I can process my thoughts, clear out my mind, without the need of being grammaticality correct or fit into the expectations of others. Here, I am just me, wrestling through life and all it throws at me. However, lately life has seen fit to throw a little more

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-25081781415032172622010-11-28T20:23:00.003-06:002010-11-28T21:47:06.265-06:00

I've got my back against the wall But I can still hear the blue sky call The chains that hold me back inside Are the prisons of my mind, yeah Free, come set me free, down on my knees I still believe you can save me from me Come set me free, come set me free Inside this shell there's a prison cell Inside this shell there's a prison cell I try to live the light of day Why would I do what I hate?

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-42798335968553971092010-11-18T11:18:00.001-06:002010-11-28T20:33:04.977-06:00

Wondered if you were going insane? I have. These days, there are times in the dark stretches of night and the weary moments of the days where I could swear I can feel the edges of my sanity crumbling away into nothingness, revealing the previously shadowed corners of my mind. To be honest, it scares me a little, when I can no longer ignore the whispers at the edge of my consciousness. Life

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-46207641322494711742010-11-08T18:23:00.001-06:002010-11-28T20:33:27.136-06:00

So, I'm sitting here all snuggled deep under my sleeping bag, heating back on my back, warm laptop on my lap and dreading all that I have to do. It's miracle month in college. Not only are classes in high gear but every prof is stressing his papers like its the only one ever conceived (minus one very sweet missions prof who has been utterly amazing!). So take the stress of miracle month, the

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-71253808089083191062010-10-26T16:53:00.000-06:002010-10-26T16:53:06.124-06:00

And don't my joints know it :) I'm sitting bundled in an unbelievably comfy sweater, black gloves on my hands trying to get them a few shades closer to normal than the blues and purples which have been periodically showing up all afternoon, working on homework, blowing my nose and watching the sky pour out shockingly familiar white flakes before they are swept away by the prairie winds. Yep it's

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-85432884270417426302010-10-21T14:42:00.000-06:002010-10-21T14:42:43.129-06:00

Ever feel like you're three steps behind? I do. I don't mean to, I don't want to, but I do. Some days I am tired, and it doesn't matter how much sleep I did or didn't get, maybe tired isn't the right word, perhaps weary is a more accurate descriptor. Today was, is, one of those days. Okay, to be fair, i am also tired. Staying up late studying  should probably have been done with more

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-3448517659357684282010-10-12T18:13:00.001-06:002010-11-28T20:34:12.094-06:00

"It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone."  Rose Kennedy "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-38920221981595071572010-10-10T19:49:00.001-06:002010-11-28T20:35:10.658-06:00

Does anybody else despise this question?  I know I loathe the very thought, cringe when I see the query coming. Why? I never know how to answer it. There is the culturally appropriate head nod as we walk on, never actually entering into each other's lives. There is the smile and deflection or even worse the infamous I'm fine. Honestly, if I ever answer I'm fine either slap me or be worried (

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-16450193120350820212010-10-07T22:17:00.002-06:002010-11-28T20:36:32.016-06:00

Yep, it's Canadian Thanksgiving. So rather than my usual rambles today (and boy, looking back, do I ever ramble) we are going to ignore all of that and name some things that we are thankful for. 1. Prairie sunsets - So incredible, so beautiful, I will never get tired of those beautiful landscapes 2. Hugs from loved ones - Okay, so these are dangerous at times and I'm not a touchy-feely person

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-40354743135181036882010-10-04T22:27:00.003-06:002010-11-28T20:27:11.655-06:00

It's time to ramble again. These days it seems like it's always time to ramble. My mind just races and not on things that I need it to ramble on, that would be too convenient. Instead my mind races against probabilities, rages against the unknown, merging connections where there should be none and leaving bridges untouched. I worry what other's think, how other's view me. I know my ramblings

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-86102292832771718432010-10-01T03:22:00.000-06:002010-10-01T03:22:18.858-06:00

So, my friend posted this video on her Facebook tonight and it just pulled at me in a way I can't explain. Tonight was a long night. Yesterday, marked the 11th anniversary of my grandfather's death. To be honest, I miss him tonight, I miss him a lot. Grandpa was always there, you knew grandpa loved you, and yet, I still feel incredibly guilty for how I behaved as he was dying. At 13 I struggled

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-68078909429600140132010-09-26T00:58:00.000-06:002010-09-26T00:58:56.922-06:00

So, I still have 70 pages of reading, 6 sections of reflective questions, and an hour of studying to do this weekend and yet here I am back on the computer having watched half of Big Bang theory season one and starting Eureka, with my homework staring at me 2 feet away. I just feel so out of sorts. I'm stressed to my breaking point about school, family, friends but I can't focus . ..  at all. I

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-79824734282215181772010-09-19T16:25:00.000-06:002010-09-19T16:25:50.045-06:00

Yeah, technically I should be doing homework. After all, I have a million assignments, five unfinished stories sitting on my hard drive and a constantly filling schedule and yet, here I am again, writing out my thoughts in cyber space. Today, as per the norm, I went to house church. Seriously I love those people. They are my family and yet even now three years later I worry about tainting them,

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-65547877161976703802010-09-12T02:24:00.002-06:002010-11-28T20:37:41.120-06:00

Wow, so I never expected tonight to go the way it did. I'm still not sure what to think so I do what I usually do turn to words in the hope that maybe their solace will help me find some clarity amidst the chaos. Today was to be a normal day. I went to a BBQ at my friend's parents, read some Plato, hung out with friends. Admittedly I did not finish all the homework I wanted too. There are

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-81979487436979429442010-09-02T14:22:00.000-06:002010-09-02T14:22:05.502-06:00

and this time I'm in much better spirits. I think I've come to terms now with the fact that depression may always be a very real threat and that I must actively work at keeping healthy mentally (cause we all know physically is a joke) As anyone who stumbles across here semi-regularly knows, I haven't been great at keeping up lately. My EDS has been acting up a lot lately and my doctors are

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-4307230679376536502010-07-17T15:08:00.000-06:002010-07-17T15:08:59.564-06:00

Okay, maybe not literally, but today I'm not going on a passionate tangent, today I concede temporary defeat to EDS. As such I need to vent just a little. Some days I don't question the fact that so many EDSers end up battling mental issues such as depression. I'm 24 and I have as much energy as my 85 year old grandmother who's at deaths door. That's enough to encourage anyone. . . not. This

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-67916379555147925732010-07-12T18:25:00.002-06:002010-07-12T18:25:14.953-06:00

So it’s been another month. To be honest it doesn’t actually feel that long since my last post, the last few weeks have passed like a blur and I have no excuse. Sure enough some days my internet was down (life in the country how I love thee), some days my fingers held rebellion thanks to an ally of EDS (this was rather discouraging, my hands have always been fairly reliable but have, as of this

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-3128184871771065042010-06-13T13:59:00.000-06:002010-06-13T13:59:58.058-06:00

So if you're reading this you may notice I have changed the colour of my background, now is a time of change and this seemed like an easy start. The other thing you may have noticed if you've been reading is that a week and a half ago I wrote a post and signed off for awhile. Now I realise I'm not a daily posted in fact two posts a month is doing really well for me but this wasn't just a blog

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-25131063756084414412010-06-02T11:59:00.000-06:002010-06-02T11:59:43.240-06:00

So if you read any of what i've written before you will quickly notice two things: this blogs tends to the reflective and the optimistic, and as of late it has become more disjointed. Recently my life has changed, putting me on new paths which are different but have the potential, I suppose, for good. But today I am wounded, today I hurt. When I originally started this blog it was to write the

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-26766115994918185462010-05-30T15:32:00.000-06:002010-05-30T15:32:43.852-06:00

So last night my dad surprised me and took me out to see the movie To Save a Life and it's been on my mind ever since. Two things blew me away in that movie even though they were sentiments I've known and recognized for years but last night they came back with a vengeance just the same. First, I am amazed at how little it takes to make a difference in someones life. In the movie Jake challenges

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-11896583609365801632010-05-14T23:28:00.000-06:002010-05-14T23:28:53.060-06:00

Tonight if I had to guess possibly sleep and oh yeah maybe have a steady job. Today I am feeling down. No one wishes to hire me because of my disability so here I am taking random babysitting hours when I can to earn money to go to back to school. I love school. There no one cares if I'm disabled, my mind works just fine. No one cares if I sleep odd hours it's a college thing (at least that's

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-11834974546251257852010-05-07T18:09:00.001-06:002010-05-07T18:10:52.243-06:00

Okay, so here is a dumb question. Who here has seen a little movie called Avatar? Okay I said it was going to be a dumb question. :P I have now had the pleasure of seeing this movie twice (the graphics are gorgeous and the soundtrack beautiful in my humble opinion). My second time delving into Cameron’s world was just last week where Avatar became my in-flight companion throughout my cross

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-22110825719913882482010-05-03T13:52:00.001-06:002010-05-03T17:57:16.792-06:00

To the thoughts currently flying through my head, please settle down. I realise you love to fly and seek the freedom I do not know but, if I am honest, you are making me dizzy and a little cranky due to your high energy use. Some of my thoughts are typical for being back in the place of my birth, frustration shame, worry, guilt, all of these seem to be part of the package of being near my

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-64329317549973689812010-04-29T12:13:00.000-06:002010-04-29T12:13:43.270-06:00

Today is my last full day at school before taking the flight back to the family and again I have mixed feelings. This year seems so full of paradox, hmmm not sure if that's the right word but let's see. This year I finished a BA, however I'm returning in the fall to finish another. SO, essentially I have finished that which I set out to do, crossed the finish line, said goodbye, and oh wait I'm

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-49285602393930007762010-04-19T23:26:00.000-06:002010-04-19T23:26:49.239-06:00

Well, my marks aren't all back yet but it looks like I am officially done my first BA. It's very surreal to be honest, especially coming back in the fall to finish degree number two. Looking back on the last few years I'm amazed at what I've learned and experienced. I am no where near the same person I was that first September afternoon when I stood outside my dorm and swore I had lost all metal

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-38777441047366216362010-04-13T01:09:00.000-06:002010-04-13T01:09:17.482-06:00

I mean come on honestly! I swear I just closed my eyes for a second and poof . . . gone. It's been an interesting month.  One of the reasons I haven't been on is school. Papers , grad prep. I have to admit I am getting excited about this first grad. In three weeks I will be done my BA in music and only 5 classes from my second BA. At the same time the thought scares me. In December I will be

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-88734148391355441222010-03-12T22:03:00.000-06:002010-03-12T22:03:29.685-06:00

Well today is a new day and I am back like I promised. It's been a long 24 hours. I still haven't heard anything new from home. I am assuming that no news is good news at this point. It's been different as I process yet another major family breakdown happening 2000 miles away. I have had good talks with some dear friends both in person and online and they have helped put things into focus. The

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-39901391814086519772010-03-11T20:44:00.000-06:002010-03-11T20:44:05.744-06:00

Okay so here comes the least optimistic blog or journal entry I've ever written this be your disclaimer. I should be writing a review on whether or not the revival of the 1700's actually was a revival according to the criterea set forth by Jonathan Edwards but tonight my heart is to heavy and I'm to chaotic. I'm in a class this week on adolescent develpoment. So incredible and I just find my

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-88291985982277459562010-03-03T00:28:00.000-06:002010-03-03T00:28:38.936-06:00

So I've been offline for awhile, but life has been hectic both good and bad. A few days ago my school had a huge youth event. It was good but again as an introvert with health issues it was tiring. Overall, I enjoyed it: the bands Group 1 Crew and Matt Maher were so good, old friends were visited, and the speakers were great. On top of that I had the chance to have some great talks with some

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-59460964942775540552010-03-01T16:13:00.002-06:002010-03-01T16:15:08.880-06:00

Just a little video, more to share when life slows down a bit

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-53452466330806665662010-02-09T20:54:00.000-06:002010-02-09T20:54:11.165-06:00

Another day and I am one step closer to ending my time as an undergrad. Although I still have 10 months to go I will finish my first degree in April and as such have been undergoing the grad process particular to my school. As a result today was my exit interview. To be honest I was stressed going in to this meeting, perhaps more so because I knew the professors who were questioning me and knew

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-1420815199999400622010-02-03T02:19:00.000-06:002010-02-03T02:19:42.688-06:00

and I'm still walking it. But today I feel on firmer footing than I have in months. Why today? Well there are a number of reasons actually. First, today is my birthday. I am again another year older. This year has seen many changes and I am not the same person I was 12 months ago, I have grown and how much fun it was to celebrate with friends and mentors tonight. It is good to be alive.

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-81538199478289634532010-01-21T19:14:00.001-06:002011-01-11T20:45:57.471-06:00

No not a typical anniversary. Three years ago today my plans to commit suicide were thwarted and I began to live in earnest. It's odd being given a second chance and the life I'm living now feels like a second chance, one for which I still stand humbled and in awe of the fact that I was allowed to recieve such a gift. These past three years I tend to get reflective around this time and this year

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-8549472835661301862010-01-14T00:34:00.001-06:002010-01-14T00:36:30.132-06:00

So I was attempting to read some Luther for class tomorrow with my roommate when a mutual friend came in to vent after a long day. The conversation went well, I half listened while the other two talked, adding my comments when requested and muddling through Luther the rest of the time. Upon the conversation's end my roommate left and I was alone with my other friend who then proceded to

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-21827217912013756332010-01-10T23:10:00.004-06:002010-11-28T20:54:14.562-06:00

Okay, I apologize but I live musically and lately certain songs have been speaking to me in the choas which marks the changing of the years.This week the song that has been on my mind is "She's a Butterfly" by Martina McBride. Ironically enough when I first came to college I despised country music with a passion. However, I firmly believe that it is impossible to live on the prairies and not 

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875820961670115515.post-48154242867837185712010-01-02T22:07:00.003-06:002010-01-02T22:11:57.749-06:00

“In the quiet of the shadow In the corner of a room Darkness moves upon you Like a cloud across the moon You’re aware in all the silence Of a constant that will turn Like the windmill left deserted Or the sun forever burn So don't forget to breathe Don't forget to breathe We're all lifers here No eleventh hour reprieve So don't forget to breathe Keep your head above water But don't forget to

Riverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13418485980973354059noreply@blogger.com0